[funnyme]

Фаулз. Коллекционер
когда я читала, казалось, что Я была заперта в том подвале. и все это описывает МОЕ состояние и мысли:

Then she said, "I always seem to end up by talking down to you. I hate it. It's you. You always squirm one step lower than I can go."
She went like that at me sometimes. Of course I forgave her, though it hurt at the time. What she was asking for was someone different to me, someone I could never be.

I said, you hated me before. Now I suppose you despise me as well.
"I pity you. I pity you for what you are and I pity you for not seeing what I am." эта мысль вообще описывает суть моих чувств к Саше

I see it's a sort of tyranny he has over me. He forces me to be changeable, to act. To show off.The hateful tyranny of weak people..

The only thing that really matters is feeling and living what you believe - so long as it's something more than belief in your own comfort.

Down here my moods change so rapidly. All determination to do one thing one hour; all for another the next.

The only thing I like about him is the feeling that there is something there that could be used for good if it could be got at.

He has that selfishness - it's not even an honest selfishness, because he puts the blame on life and then enjoys being selfish with a free conscience. He's obstinate too.

how could I ever look in any way but down on him?

I still can't say that I love him. But now I begin to see that it's because I don't know what love is. I'm Emma with her silly little clever-clever theories of love and marriage, and love is something that comes in different clothes, with a different way and different face, and perhaps it takes a long time for you to accept it, to be able to call it love.

I said, what you love is your own love. It's not love, it's selfishness. It's not me you think of, but what you feel about me.

The power of women! I've never felt so full of mysterious power. Men are a joke.
We're so weak physically, so helpless with things. Still, even today. But we're stronger than they are. We can stand their cruelty. They can't stand ours.